Candice Wynn Breakthrough: The Ongoing Work of Balance

By: Ebonie Davis (Washington DC 2021), Contributor

In 2013, Candice Wynn (Miami 2013) was contending with a whirlwind of transitional life events. Over the course of a few short years, her mother had a stroke that left her paralyzed. Candice also got engaged, married, and gave birth to her first child—all this while managing her church’s youth ministry demands.

From her then Miami, Florida home, Candice’s time was spent on the phone talking with care providers, insurance companies, and assuming tasks required to manage the affairs of her mother who lived in Washington, DC. It wasn’t unusual for Candice to cram her church responsibilities into limited windows of time, often with her baby on her hip. Her high-level productivity only masked the severity of her imbalance.

“There was never an issue because the ministry was sustained–or so I thought,” notes Candice. “People were still connecting and being impacted…Looking back, I think I was a little selfish,” she continues. “I don’t think I had the ability to see all the grace I was getting from my church, my husband, and even God. I didn’t realize my lack of balance was partly because I’d created a ministry system that was overly dependent on me.”

When Candice’s pastor approached her about applying for the DeVos Urban Leadership Initiative (DVULI), she was attracted to the idea of being surrounded by like-minded people. Once accepted into the program, she leaned in as much as she could but reveals that life was such a fog back then it limited her capacity to absorb all of what the trainings offered.

At one of the DVULI national conferences Candice experienced a moment of awakening. One of the conference presenters spoke about how easy it is to be in ministry but lack balance, calling out busyness as a “sign of disease” born of pride. The speaker charged, “You can’t go deep when you are constantly busy.”

In that moment, Candice reflected on countless nights when she’d fallen asleep with her laptop in the bed. This pause caused her to question if she would be ready to acknowledge her own busy “illness”? She later documented this challenge in her Breakthrough Plan—DVULI’s assigned capstone project.

“My life had become so overwhelmed with doing God’s work, that I was spending very little time with God,” offers Candice. “I preached to my team ‘spiritually healthy leaders make spiritually healthy ministries,’ and I emphasized them deepening their relationship [with God]. But there I sat at the top of the tree, ruining the entire vine. I was the branch that needed to be pruned.”

Pursing balance helped Candice change her perspective from simply, “What does God want me to do?” to the deeper question: “What kind of person does God want me to be?” The mental shift was the easy part. Developing new rhythms in life would take practice.

“With each new season of life, how you’re expected to show up looks a bit different,” reasons Candice, who believes balance is an ongoing pursuit.

A new season emerged when by God’s grace, Candice’s mom’s health improved, leading her mom to more independence. During this season, Candice and her family would move to Atlanta and eventually relocated her mother from the DC area to be closer to them.

In addition, Candice and her husband added another child to their family, and she needed to reset her path to balance as wife and now mother of two. “There’s pressure to have the kids involved in everything; to be the mom that brings the cute snacks! I had to release myself from the need to be like those ‘Instagram moms.’”

Candice enjoys volunteering at her kids’ school, but she resists the urge to sign up for everything, noting she’ll lean “into what’s important.” Thus, family duties required embracing the values of empowerment, leverage, and interdependence to help her set more boundaries around ministry work.

“When you love what you’re doing [in ministry] it can easily become a kryptonite and lead to overextending yourself,” alerts Candice.

No matter what each season brings, Candice is clear she must maintain being a faithful follower of God. When she’s sought God more deeply, her ministry direction is impacted as well. Very recently, her seeking Him has led to discerning a tremendous need in the African American church community.

Drawing from her years of youth ministry experience, she is now focused on a nonprofit she founded called BOON – The Black Next Gen Network. BOON, an acronym for Born Out of Necessity, is dedicated to equipping faith influencers to cultivate the faith of Black children and youth.

Of course, this meant finding a new season of balance since she started the organization while still working in full-time ministry. It wasn’t long before Candice felt called to step out on faith and pursue BOON full time.

“God said to me ‘you know, it’s time to clean house, right?’” Candice recounts. “I had to evaluate what practices I’d picked up from my previous season that I needed to lay down.” She goes on to explain, “Everywhere we go, there are things that we pick up that we need for that space, but when we’re not in that space anymore, we don’t need them in the same way. We can put them down and walk differently in a new season—spiritually, physically, and professionally.”

Recently, Candice asked her husband, “What did we do before we had kids?” He replied, “Nothing. You were busy trying to figure out who you were in ministry.”

Candice is grateful for her growth and coming to understand that balance is more a journey than a destination. “Balance is a constant evolution,” she insists. “And through each [evolution], I’ve had to realign and reevaluate. I don’t know that we’re ever meant to stop.”